Arrgghhhh!!

MUMPS!

Fiona Jones 2006/4

Ok so talking to a mate on line tonight I have to go, so agree to carry on with a chat via telephone a little later on - so got sorted and walking down the stairs the phone goes - of coure its my mate so I answer the phone in a very sultry voice saying "Fiona Jones Sex Therapist how can i help you".....

"Fiona Jones what on earth are you doing" - says my mum ....ooops....

I spend the next 15 minutes persuading my mum that I have not taken up part time work as one of those women who takes calls from perverted blokes who want to talk dirty after which point she bursts out laughing - yesssss - she knew I was messing around and had decided to wind me up tooo!... at the end of which she said - you want to be thankful dad is not around or it could have been really embarassing - cheers mum!

Two night on.....

And the selves are still standing - this does include the mother test - ie my mum shaking them so hard that if it was an earthquake it would not register on the richter scale lol :)

E went to her dads today :( so lonesome - however loads of Uni Work, marking and party bags to get ready - party bags for E's Birthday next Sunday (her birthday is actually the 10th - Friday but shes at her dads that weekend too :( so having it the weekend before)at Prior Pursglove Leisure Centre - she wanted a bouncy castle of course - not told her its not pink and purple yet but I'm sure she will be more than busy on the day lol.

Had a brill week and just really been spending time with E and basically acting like a kid (no change there then lol) - its also been snowing quite a bit so maybe it will lie and I can drag the board out again???? doubt it though - hills are white but way to wet on ground at mo for it to settle without any serious snowfall!) - can always wish though....

Right Chinese, beer and general slob in front of TV tonight with party bags to make up :) (30 of the bloody things!). Feel free anyone to come and help if you are around lol :)

F x

Last lines - kinda... of book

"I realise nothing is definite. Sometimes, Mr Perfect is a hell of a lot closer than you think. It's just sometimes he's in a very good disguise".

Hmmmmm is he???? If he is he's staying hidden lol! or just being an A**e!

I knew it....Skeletons in the closet!

James the ariline pilot was not so Mr Perfect after all - on the day of their glam wedding in Vagas her ex Rob the Slob turns up - obviously coming to his senses about what he has lost!!! (Hmm hmm), and gets beaten up by bouncers at the wedding at which point she can't go on with the wedding so hubby to be is not pleased (as you can imagine) - she runs off to make sure Rob is ok who is not so much of a slob anymore due to flying to see her (when he hates flying)so when she returns hubby to be still not pleased will only talk in bar which she finds strange so she goes to get changed (James still acting weird) won't let her - her sispicions grow and she runs to closet to find a NAKED airhostess in their - described as a skeleton in the book due to her being so skinny!!! (had a giggle at that) - anyway things get said and he's been sleeping with said airhostess while seeing her (hmmmm another one of those I can relate to - only not airhostess I have to say!)- anyway wedding off and shes back mates with Rob the (not so) slob - as mates at first but two months down the line again they kiss and happy ever after - end of book :)


God I read drivel at times!

Back in the real life - E's shelves dried with lovely pink paint and up on the walls - and staying up with books on them :) which is a bonus of course - not a bad job even if I do say so myself :) - Even if E did hide when I got the Black and Decker Drill out saying oh no not again lol.

Night F x

The Man From Perfect...

New Book - Well about three weeks old actually - on the way back from London (birthday weekend) I was in Kings Cross Station W H Smiths looking for a book for the two and a half hour journey home.. not that I actually read on any train as I usually get sat next to some crusty old woman/man intent on talking my ear off!!!! anyway as always stood for about 30 minutes reading the backs of rubbish books when I decided to just close my eyes and pick one and so I endd up with The Man From Perfect (which was kinda ironic given the state of my love life at the mo!). Anyway got on the train and started trying to read it until I nearly choked to death on my disgusting tea and trying to kill someone with a flying birthday present which obviously was not secured in the luggage rack hmmmm... anyway back to the book -

Its all a bout a secondary school teacher hmmm hmmm (ok the one in the book is English and I am IT but hey), she is 29 (not far off me) and been heart broken hmm hmm. Anyway her mate does one of those silly questionnaire things in a Magazine about their perfect man (ok ladies come on we all do them lol)and anyway said mate sends it in to this state of the art dating agency which uses science to match you to your perfect partner (ok only similarity here was a mate who put me on one of those dating things on line middle of last year and I have to say I was not pleased at all).... anyway as it turns out shes has met this guy who is gorgeous (of course) and an airline pilot (lucky bugger)- and I've just got to the part where he has just proposed on top of a swanky hotel in Rome and she said yes (of course). Ok so not many similarities but enough to make me choke on tea and get the crusty old woman opposite me talking the rest of the journey back from London!!!

I'll keep you posted as no one can be as perfect as James the Pilot and not have any skeletons in the cupboard (he doesnt even fart in bed)- oh that and the Ex is still on the scene being a slob and there is still half a book to go!

Anyway thats the drivel I am reading at the mo - I really need to get out more - that or get a bloke lol.

Oh one thing though _ did paint E's shelves today the lovely pink colour we had to get made up by the guy in Focus Do It All as E could not find the perfect pink hmm hmm (I even managed to saw the shelves to the perfect size first time and yes they were straingt lines!).

Bloody cold so bath and bed tonight! Forecast for Snow of course since I have now brought my Boarding boots upstairs to join snowboard so may be lugging them back down again soon!

Night F x

Yes Yes Yes.......

Got the mark for the first part of my uni project which I have been really struggling with - I got a B - which believe me considering I am finding it very very very hard is a great mark and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pleased yipppeeeeeeeee - please say things can only get easier - oh by the way if there are any people who are experts in PHSP please get in touch!!!!!!!

That and I finally got an answer from my not so lovely Ex - He was due to have E on mothers day and I have been negotiating to exchange weekends which he has agreed to - however I think the fact that he now has a new daughter to worry about might have something to do with it!

Fiona Jones 2006/3

Gave ketchup bottle to E today for the fishfingers and she quickly came back saying mummy it wont come out - I looked in the end and realise I had given her the one which was not open due to having two bottles in the cupboard (buy ony get one free etc etc) so before giving her the other one I decided to check it was open (of course it bloody is since the other one is not) so I proceeded to point the squirty thing at my face and squeeze - at which point a shoot of red stuff flew in the air and hit me slap bang in the forehead - hmmmmmmm - E with laughing that would put a dirty old man to shame started rolling on the floor laughing clutching her tummy (such an actress) before going to get a chip and dabbing it on my forehead asking me to go to the table as that is where her dinner was hmmmmmmmmm.

(Maybe I should not have blogged this one!)

Ok why is it when I find a product i like they always stop doing it? This time shampoo - I was using Herbal Essences Clarifying Shampoo with Rosemary and now you can't ge tit for love nor money so I am trying that Tresseme (think thats how you spell it) stuff, used it last night and nearly broke my wrist picking the dam thing up - bloody massive bottle so I hope it works!!

OMG I'm blogging about shampoo - I'm just gonna go now.......

My weeks for the next 12 (ish) weeks!

Monday - Work - then Uni till 6pm
Tuesday - Work - Dissertation
Wednesday - Work - Dissertation
Thursday - Work - then Uni till 9pm
Friday - Work - Then Uni till 5pm
Saturday - zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - unless I have E then Manic - swimming etc etc etc
Sunday - zzzzzzzzzzzzz - unless I have E then Manic again etc etc etc.

Ever get the feeling there has to be more to life?? Not referring to E of course the little sweet pea who is driving me mad with that bloody screaming monkey - cheers C I'll get ya back for that one!!! and she is working on yous Banoculars now!

At least only 12 weeks of manic then that will be it thank god - and then I'll be wondering what to do with my time!

Right off to bed with a beer and a bag of crips ha ha x night x

Has anyone?

Downloaded the new version or messenger yet???? I got a message up the other night saying i was due and update so I tried it and it completely crashed my system - I then tried booting on tonight and an hour later I'm here hmmmmm - frustrated!

Update...

Forgot to mention E survived her trip to the Docs - decided to take her Thursday night as she is at her dads this weekend and her cough has been getting worse not to mention the horrid stuff thats been coming up with it. She missed her flu jab this year due to MMR (separate) jab being too close, and since she was real ill in hospital when she was one I didnt want to risk not taking her to the docs at this early stage.

Anyway we got in there and the Doc said "can I just listen to your tummy and chest with my pipes" to which E replied "Don't be silly thats called a stethescope and you use it to listen to my heart" ha ha bless her the Doc then changed his tact and started talking to her like a human and she was over the moon that she got to hear her own heart beat and I got to listen too!. Anyway it turns out she does have an infection but she is fighting it ok at the mo so she is fine, E and the Doc did have a good conversation as E told him she is going to be a Doctor when she grows up to make people better lol.... then as we were leaving she said - and after being a doctor I'm going to be a zoo keeper lol - you gotta love kids!

Anyway Winter Olympic time wooooo hooooooo was watching the snowboarding pipe action today - oh to be as good as that lol (not in this lifetime lol).

nn x

Busy...Again!

Ok caught up with a mate this weekend and ended up out on Friday night for something to eat at Chapters Deli in Stokesley (and a glass of wine) then headed into guisborough (my god i felt old) where I had two bottle of Bud which went completely to my head (whats all that about?) I think the not drinking lark on my health stint has really affected me as I certainly cannot take my drink anymore - maybe I'm just getting on but I used to be way better than what I am!

Anyway a bit of shopping yesterday trying to find Play Doh Doggy Doctor for E for her birthday (only thing she has asked for) and surprise surprise can't get it anywhere!!! Even though it is advertised on the tv as being available now no one seems to have it - even tried getting it on line and failed miserably so if anyone comes across it in the next 3 weeks give me a bell and hopefully I cant get sorted before the 10th March!!!

Then C helped me move E's new wardrobe from my mum's to my place (a really nice old wooden one in victorian style to fit in with my house). Then headed to the cinema to see Final Destination 3. If you have seen the other two its the same prinicipal but still an OK film and being a girly I jumped loads and found it very very gruesome in parts! very graphic which I didn't know whether to laugh or squirm at. But some good trailers for some up and coming films so a few trips to cinema in stall is anyone fancies it!

Ok off to look for a doggy doc ha ha F x

Bugger....

Ditched the Ibuprofen as it made me ill - so onto plain old pain killers and once again taking out shares in Deep Heat hmmmmm. On top of that I decided to put Snowboard up in the attic room out of the way last night and what happens today - I drive home in a blizzard - bloody typical - in fact I'm gonna do that more often if it means snow!!!

Have to say though feeling loads better today and nearly off the pain killers now and deep heat - won't be that silly again lol!

Owwwwwwwwwwwwww

Ibuprofen and early night :(

Quackers....

Did ya guess then?

Birthday

Great week actually following birthday weekend, had a nice night out with J on the Wednesday as I've not seen her for months and then to my good old mum's for a traditional birthday tea on the day itself Thursday, my sis was there and all the kids and it was a real hoot - the best bit was E actually remembered it was my birthday and first thing in the morning flung her arms around me with a massive kiss and said happy birthday I love you mummy, followed by - you have a rectangle present surprise downstairs from me and an oval surprise at grans from me which is a secret so I cant tell you about it (lol priceless.

Last night my mate C came round for a girly night which was great with a few interruptions from D who was totally and mentally off ones skull with booze and a big pain the a*s* and I was not ammused especially this morning when D could not even remember a thing about it!

Today was a nice day with E where we did silly stuff and went swimming etc - I let her choose the new toilet seat which I have been wanting to replace since I moved in so I'll let your imagination go with what we ended up with and might post a pic tomorrow!!!

Other than that S is planning a visit tomorrow which should be good - yet again catching up with another mate only this time 2 years late ooops!

Oh and got this sent to me http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp have a look or click on the link above (birthday) - its great tells you all you could want to know about the date you were born and even shows a pic of the moon! good stuff thanks E and R for the link :)

F x